Wednesday, September 29, 2010

all the time.

today has been a long day. but my morning was some sweet time. i started volunteering with the american cancer soceity this semester and this morning was my second time going to help at the harrisonburg office. i just do whatever they need me to do which changes every week. this morning, they had me organize and sort through the back room that holds wigs, bras and other resources for people fighting cancer. and it's the same small room where the patients try on their new wigs and things to see which works for them. vicki left me alone and i turned on some music and spent 2 hours back there. i moved boxes around, and counted inventory but mostly i prayed "God, why do people get cancer?" to be honest, i was thinking to myself this morning when i left my house, "i don't have time to be volunteering this morning, i have a huge test tomorrow" but instead i got sweet, uninterrupted time with the Lord. and i thought about all the people that are sick, or hurting, or alone or upset. and all the people that have family that are sick and hurting. and i thought about how in all that crap, in all the mess that we are surrounded by in this world, God is still good. sometimes, a lot of times, i don't get it. but God is still good. when i was in belize, we used to say "all the time, God is good and God is good, all the time." i choose to believe it. it might not always "feel" that way, but there is a lot of mystery about the Lord. a lot i will never understand. but i will choose to know Him. and i will choose to ask him to make beauty in MY mess. and i will choose to know He is good all the time. so as i sat there sifting through wigs, and hats and scarves, i realized that 'my' time was not mine. it is God's and he met with me this morning in the back room of the ACS office. and He's asked me to serve Him, and help communicate His love in the midst of all this mess. and clients will never know i organized and cleared the back room, but i can picture a woman being able to sit in this room receiving a wig, or a pretty hat and my prayer is that she is reminded that God is and always has been good. and He let me be a part of that.

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