I am beginning to realize that a busy schedule for me means productivity. I think in some ways I idolize being productive.The more I have on my calendar for a particular day, the better I feel about myself. In this job of YL, where things are blurred and work days look different than a 9-5, when I am busy I feel like people can look at me and say, "she's doing her job." I get the approval from other people.. what I want right?
I'm learning that people's approval, or where I live, or how may times I exercise, or doing things well or whatever you fill in the blank doesn't satisfy. My dear friend Kelly said, "We gotta find our joy & satisfaction in the water than never makes us thirst again. It won't come from what people think of me or from having money." That seems simple, yet her words have resonated with me all week. I want those things. I want people to like me and if I'm honest say, "Wow, look at Margaret..." But it doesn't last. It disappoints and runs dry.