On being busy

I am beginning to realize that a busy schedule for me means productivity. I think in some ways I idolize being productive.The more I have on my calendar for a particular day, the better I feel about myself. In this job of YL, where things are blurred and work days look different than a 9-5, when I am busy I feel like people can look at me and say, "she's doing her job." I get the approval from other people.. what I want right?

I'm learning that people's approval, or where I live, or how may times I exercise, or doing things well or whatever you fill in the blank doesn't satisfy. My dear friend Kelly said, "We gotta find our joy & satisfaction in the water than never makes us thirst again. It won't come from what people think of me or from having money." That seems simple, yet her words have resonated with me all week. I want those things. I want people to like me and if I'm honest say, "Wow, look at Margaret..." But it doesn't last. It disappoints and runs dry.

It's funny to think about being busy as tons and tons of snow dumps outside today. It makes me think about not being busy, because today I have nothing on my calendar. It's a beautiful picture of NOT being busy and still being meaningful. I am not defined by how full my calendar is. Because I am loved for who I am, not what I do. Amen and Hallelujah!