Grace

I remember learning in a high school (probably in Campaigners) about grace. That grace is getting something you do not deserve. It is Unmerited. I am currently in a season of life where I am learning so much about grace. Everything in life is exciting and scary at the same time. I have these intense feelings of being so giddy to moving into this new marriage. Couldn't be more excited. And then these intense fears and worries creep in, that are not from the Lord. Things like "how will you makes ends meet?" Which is a good question. And I don't know the answer. But I do know that in John 9 it says "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." That whatever happens, God might be glorified in my marriage, my struggles, my joy, my pain etc...

Grace is such a cool thing. Something I have been made aware of, is my need for grace. For myself, from others, from the Lord. And this comes from a place of knowing that I am not perfect. That I will never be perfect. That I make mistakes like saying something hurtful or backing into another car (yup last week). That is ok, I am the one who probably expects myself to be perfect, and then I am afraid to fail. In the book we are reading for our marriage counseling, the author says "No one gives grace better than the person who knows he needs it, as well." 

I want to be full of grace. For myself. This is hard for me. For others. I think because I am not gracious with myself, being gracious with others can also be hard. And I want to be free to receive the grace that the Lord gives to me.